Balance

I’m sitting here with my makeup done for the first time in ages (minus the quick face I throw on for church on Sunday). My hair is damp, hasn’t been brushed, and I’m debating on drying it for the full effect or throwing it up in a bun the way it will eventually be done at some point today.

My kids are at the park with my husband and I’m going over how I’m going to put three kids to bed by myself come September. Baby first, four year old next, two year old last? Baby first, two year old next, four year old gets an extra half hour?

Yesterday I made dinner and baked some of my dad’s applesauce bread. When I went to bed there were still toys on the floor and a pile of dishes in the sink but my four year old told me we were best friends.

Balance. Weighing what needs to be done against what will get done. Choosing one thing at the expense of another. Keeping sane at the cost of being perfect. It’s all about balance. I can’t count the number of times I’ve laid in bed and told myself, I’ll clean the house in the morning, get in a workout, make healthy meals, write during nap time, tidy up after the kids are asleep and read before bed. I can tell you that the number of times I’ve thought this is equal to the number of times I’ve not done this after saying this.

I’m due in one month. Moving is exercise at this point. I joke that it hurts to turn around in the shower to wash my hair. However, my kids need to eat, they need to be put to bed, the need bathes, they need hugs, they need to be picked up when they fall down. I am so blessed with a husband that picks up his fair share of the load with the kids. It makes it easier to have quiet afternoons when he’s worn them out each morning. It was a lovely treat to come home from church on Wednesday to an empty sink. I’m blessed.

In this season of life I feel like all the books I’ve read that make it seem so simple to stay on top of everything and all the Facebook pictures I see of mamas with nicely dressed kids and clutter free homes are still mythical times. However, I know at least one mama reading this is nodding her head with her own sink full of dishes while her kids are still in their pajamas and she tries to count the days since her own shower. I’d love to be that blogger that really has her stuff together, and maybe one day I will be, but I know that’s not my season. With baby number three coming I know that I won’t be my season for a while.

Balance. It’s something I’m having to embrace more and more. “Honey, I made dinner for you to bring to work and there is bread for you to enjoy tomorrow morning, but the house looks like a tornado hit it.” Last night I prayed for the energy to get the house tidy before my head hits the pillow, but we’re nearing lunch time and it’s only gotten messier. So leftovers will have to do, tablet time may be encouraged, but maybe I’ll at least empty the sink. Maybe I’ll even unpack a lingering box. I’ve made my list, chances are I’ll look at it a dozen times before I even attempt one of the tasks but I need to embrace the balance I’m working to create. My kids are picture perfect to me. My house will remain cluttered until hubby has to power clean when guests are on the way to see the baby. It’s messy and it’s real. It’s this season of young ones. It’s all about balance.