Yesterday my mom called and we had a brief conversation that gave me a lot to think about. Ever have that happen? It wasn’t meant to be profound, it wasn’t meant to make me think, it was just a simple conversation.
During our conversation we spoke about asking God to send you a message. I joked about how I always feel I miss the messages if He’s sending them to me, or I try to grasp at things and wonder if they’re signs. She talked about the message of living in fear or living in love. I didn’t give much thought to it at the time because the kids were winding down and we were getting ready to close out our night. But it came back to me this morning.
I didn’t want to get up this morning. If I’m being honest, I don’t want to get up most mornings. I cling to sleep or rest because I’m halfway through my fourth pregnancy and have three other small children that suck out all my energy. However, if I don’t get up early in the morning then I get no time alone. No time to sit with God in silence (I still sit with him in chaos). No time to prepare myself for the day, I’m just flung into mom mode. So I try to get up early, read the Bible, meditate, write, and prepare for the day. Today I also decided to read.
I have a small goal of 33 books this year. I’m dragging. So I said I need to finish reading my current book this week. As I’m reading it this morning I read about fear. The topic of the chapter was using techniques to control your anxiety something I’ve struggled with since I was young and they used the example of a woman who suffered from a fear of flying. In this section of the book she tells how she used this specific technique to curb her fear of flying to a point that she was even able to look out the window and take pictures as she finished her flight. She mentioned, “I didn’t know how much I was missing by being afraid”. Wow.
My anxiety kept me from movies, hanging out with friends, enjoying trips, and even going to my first week of school and playing in basketball games in middle school. It had a nasty hold on me. I remember in high school being out with friends and being so nervous about a boy that I had to go outside and throw up because my anxiety was soaring. Over the years I was able to push past it but I missed a lot when I was in the thick of it.
Maybe you’re in the thick of it. Maybe you don’t think it’s so bad but you are suffering from some levels of anxiety and fear. What are you missing by being afraid? Are you staying at a job you hate? Are you missing out on meeting the right person? Are you living your best life?
Fear is a liar. Fear will keep you from being happy. It will keep you from making moves, leaving toxic environments and relationships, it will keep you right where you are. You can live in fear of the unknown, or you can embrace it and live in love. Love your job, love your house, love your partner, love your life. Love yourself. What is fear stopping you from? Maybe it’s time to 5-4-3-2-1 move. You’ll never know what you’ve been missing by being afraid, until you choose to not live in fear. Today seems like a good day to change.