Well of course you’re a person – no one doubted that. However, doesn’t it feel like some days you’re not your own person? Your title of mom seems to edge out your own name and, in the mix, you almost forget that you’re an individual with needs that need to be met too. I’ve been there. I’m there often actually. I think I went all of last week without being called by my name. Just mama.
Don’t let your identity be erased. I am more than just a mother. Don’t get me wrong. I love my title of mama. I love the big smiles my kids give me when they run to me each morning. I love the requests for an extra hug. I don’t always enjoy the million requests for snacks, water re fills, and the fighting, but it’s part of the territory. But sometimes, I need to be me.
I wake up at 4:30 ish to be me. I work out. I read my Bible. I take a shower. I read. I write. I sit in silence and scroll ridiculous videos on social media. I need that part of my life. I need to be able to fill up my cup. I need to remember who I am. In the evenings I clean up and spend time with my husband (who I adore). That title of wife is a part of me too, but I am more than just a wife and mother. I have things I like to do that my family doesn’t. I have goals as an individual. I have interests unique to me.
As I write this, at the end of my me time, I’ve had two of my boys come in to give hugs and smiles and another one talking in his room. I love the chaos of my kids. I love the fun adventures we go on. I also love my time alone in the morning. Don’t feel guilty for having needs. Don’t feel guilty for needing to lock yourself in a room and drink coffee in silence while your kids watch Paw Patrol for the 1000th time. You cannot pour from an empty cup. You cannot give when you have nothing left. I’ve done the running on fumes (I still do it some days). I’ve done the tears over simple things. I’ve done the too tired to stay up but staying up anyway because I just need to unwind. You’re not alone. I see you!
I know some people think I’m crazy for getting up at 4:30 in the morning – I sometimes think I am too – but I’m more myself these days. I am stronger and saner than when I get woken up by the kids. I need that time to wake up, get my stuff done, take care of what I need before I jump right into mom mode. Try it. You don’t have to jump to 4:30 but try 30 minutes before the kids get up. Increase it if you’d like or maybe 30 minutes is enough. Drink your coffee in quiet. Relax. Enjoy. Fill your cup up!